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The Day I Saw My Heart

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Since the day he was born, October 1, 1996, my son has been My Heart. It is very strange for me, to see how grown up my son is today. I’m fairly certain that some of you can relate to my suprise on some level, time moves altogether to fast in my opinion. It’s Bittersweet, really.


Regretfully, it has been 5 years since I have been a daily part of his life. I feel like I do not even know him any more, and truthfully, I don’t. This breaks my heart, even more so because it was my choices, that caused my absence. 5 long years since I have been a daily part of his life. Wow. I have to remind myself of this often. 


I remember the exact way that I felt, 3 years ago, when I was told he had a girlfriend,- by my mother, nonetheless. A girlfriend. Again, wow. 

Processing just this, took me about a year. I felt replaced. In my heart and my mind, he was still, and will always be, my little boy. But he is not little anymore.


My heart and mind eventually caught up with reality one evening as i was surfing the web. I had checked Facebook dozens of times to see if he had a page, and as always, came up with nothing. Until that night, I had seen images of my son, at family outings and holidays, by looking on my sisters Facebook page. Well, long story short, my son and his lady are both on Instagram! JOY!!! I clearly recall thinking that he is defiantly not a little boy anymore, but a young man. I am so proud of him.


As I clicked over to his lady’s page, I was given an even deeper glimpse into his life, and hers- as well as the love they share together. As i gazed upon ‘her’ lovely face for the first time, i realized something. I myself had been in my first relationship, also for three years, at that exact age.


Full circle. It would be impossible for me to forget the 4 years I spent with my first love. Like my son’s relationship, we began dating my sophomore year in high school. First love is positively magical! Do you remember yours? I remember everything, but I will save that story for a later post. I hope my son cherishes every second with his lady, because as I said before, time moves altogether to fast. 


Stat Tuned Readers! there is much more to come…

Later Gators



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