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You know who you are.:

I never even got the chance to tell you goodbye. Years  have passed and still I have no idea what I possibly could’ve done to make you leave. You’re the hardest breakup I have ever had. You weren’t just my friend, you were my family, my sister. Your house became my second home, your accomplishments became my accomplishments, your pain became my pain. We were a team. And suddenly one day it was all gone, you were gone No more late night texts., no more phone calls.  Our friendship died. I tried to revive it, texting you long messages, sending you paragraphs of emails, calling you dozens of times and leaving you long, lengthy voicemails. All of which were unrequited.

I have always struggled in the friends department. No matter how hard I try, I continually become friends with the wrong people, excecpt for you. We were basically the same person. From our style in clothes, to food, to boys, we were truly each other’s other half.

I tried to be a best friend to you. After all, I had always wanted a best friend. You know, more than a friend, a friend that became your sister. The one that you can call at 2 am because you just had an awful first date or the friend you send screenshots because the boy you like just confessed he likes you back. A friend where you never had to feel like you had to hide any part of you that made you wholly you. A friendship where jealousy doesn’t exist, and trust thrived.

I like to think I had that once with you, but not anymore.

The strangest thing about writing this letter is that I never imagined I’d have to write it to you; maybe to other friends, but not you. We made plans, like being one another’s bridesmaids.

And in a blink of an eye, all of that and so much more became obsolete.

I wish I could honestly say I hope you’re doing well, but I can’t. When you ended our friendship, you took a part of me that I’ve been struggling to get back ever since. I don’t wish bad for you though, because you must’ve found a reason to not want to be friends anymore.  Maybe one day I’ll get the answer or even better, I won’t have the urge to know.

Until then, stay the same, or not.

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